Getting Along Better – At Home

Bill Neely – is posting this blog with permission of Edwina Neely.

During this time of duress, confusion and anxiety there may be instances where fear and anger surface, resulting in harm and even danger.

I will present three  items to help us better manage our own emotions and influence others to do so.  (The only person you can control  is yourself)

1. Breath

    • The technical term is Diaphragmatic breathing.
      • When you inhale your stomach goes out.
      • If this proves challenging – place your hand on your stomach and push your hand out on the inhale.
        • Do this a few times until your stomach goes out on the inhale..
        • Relax your shoulders, jaw and your brow.
      • Notice the release and relax the tight spaces in your body.
    • Give it some time (start with 2 minutes).  Add a minute as you can.
    • If you need to sigh loudly – explain to others present what you are doing – so they know you are working on controlling yourself.

2. Count the cost

    • In times of fear and panic words and actions may be stated to prove regretful.
      • Think about what you are feeling in your body and your head.
      • Breathe and slow your responses.
      • Ask for time to plan appropriately
        • Ask for help from those directly involved  to address the matter.
          • Sometimes help is closer than we might think.
          • Ask the child for suggestions about the homework assignment.
          • Ask you spouse or partner for suggestions about getting a break from the demands of the children.

3. Words to avoid

    • Don’t.  Do your best to avoid the use of negative language.
      • Illustration  –  don’t think of the Washington Monument.
      • Did you think of the monument?
        • That’s because your mind knows what it is and can’t help but think of it.
        • I will say think of the King Memorial instead of the Washington Monument – and avoid the conflict.
      • Instead of saying “Don’t touch the box.  Say – look at the box. Tell the child or other person what’s okay to do.
      • You may further explain something about the box. Shape, color, size and more.
    • Try!
      • Try is a statement of non-commitment.
      • Instead of trying to cook the meal, make a more direct statement in a caring tone.
        • I’ll prepare the meal at 4:00 PM. That’s 40 minutes from now.
          • I’ll give you a 10 minute notification.


For more information contact Bill at









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